A Snowball's Chance in Hell And Other Stories. Read online

  "I'm the sorcerer Drib and you are all my prisoners. You are not my father and you can‘t order me around. I decide who is to live and die here." Drib puffed out his chest and spread his arms.

  "Yeah, right." Edmond laughed. "Don't you mean live or die?"

  Drib dropped his arms, his brow scrunched. Edmond took two steps and punched Drib’s nose. Sparks flew as Edmond's fist hit an invisible barrier. Drib jumped back, tripping over his robe.

  "You know, boy," said Edmond, "you shouldn't depend on magical trinkets and spells you don't understand." Edmond walked forward, grabbed Drib's shirt. "Those toys're useless if your enemy knows how to get around them." Edmond shook Drib back and forth, "Long as I ain't trying to hit you, I can do whatever I want." Edmond raised Drib over his head and tossed him. Sparks flew as Drib struck the wall.

  "Another problem is that they only have so much stored energy." Edmond said, "It don't take long to wear them down."

  Edmond picked up half of the broken table and swung it. Drib raised his arms as the oak table slammed down. Sparks flew and the table shattered. Edmond picked up a table leg.

  "Now, boy, I am going to ask once more. You going to give up that globe and let us go peaceful like?" Edmond raised the table leg.

  "No, stop. You can go." Drib covered his head. "Don't hurt me."

  Edmond set the table leg down. "Smart move, boy. If you run fast enough you might get a ways away before I start after you." He looked at Clancy with Foxglove on one side, helping him sit up. "I suggest you move fast and get your..."

  A lance of red light hit Edmond between the shoulders. The flash sent a large winged shadow across the wall as Edmond slumped to the floor. Edmond groaned as he pushed against the floor.

  Drib laughed, the high notes pierced Edmond's aching skull as he stood up. Drib waved his fingers over his head, his hands began to glow. Edmond stood straight and took a deep breath. Drib's hand flashed and a red beam of light cut toward Edmond as Edmond breathed out. The light hit a pillar of flame and exploded.

  Drib blinked and sat up. Sulfurous smoke filled the air. Clancy lay unconscious and Foxglove was nowhere to be seen. The lanky old man stood tall, flames trickling from his mouth.

  "I was going to give you a chance. Maybe even see if you chose to mend your ways." Edmond said, flame trickling out of his mouth. "A real sorcerer would have seen what I am, but you get to pay the price for your stupidity."

  Drib's eyes widened as the old mans face elongated, his skin turning scaly. Edmond's clothes faded into scales as his body lengthened. Then Drib saw an eight foot long dragon, smoke and flame trickling from its mouth. Drib grabbed at the medallions and pendants around his neck as the dragon took a deep breath. A sheet of flame exploded as he tried to activate the shield spell.

  ***

  "Hey Clancy, wake up." Edmond shook the man, Foxglove peeked up from behind her father. "Come on old friend we have to get out of here." Clancy opened his eyes to see Edmond with Denny in his arms and a red, flickering light filling the room. "The room caught on fire. We got to skedaddle, quick."

  Edmond helped Clancy to stand. Clancy looked around.

  "What happened? Did that bastard’s cloak start all this?"

  "Hush," said Edmond. "We got to move."

  They left the room moved along the hallway. The tests were inactive and in five minutes they were in the main hall. Foxglove ran ahead and pulled the doors open.

  ***

  Half an hour later, Edmond knocked Adaline's door until the young healer peeked through the window. She soon had Denny inside and mixing herbs together. Edmond sat outside by Foxglove as her father ran to get his wife.

  "You know something, Edmond?" said Foxglove.

  "What's that young'un?" Edmond took out his pipe and scrubbed it clean in hot, herb-filled water.

  "Father is sure acting different now. Is he always going to be like that?"

  Edmond shrugged. "I'm afraid I don’t know the answer to that one, youngster. He will probably end up somewhere between what he is now and what he was."

  Foxglove smiled. "Good. I wouldn’t want him too different, but I like they way he hugs now."

  Edmond nodded and Foxglove looked up at him. "You know what else? Drib's cloak was by father, and it wasn't burning any more and the torch had gone out when the fire started." Foxglove smiled. "I always wanted to see a dragon, specially a nice one." She looked down the road, "Of course, no one would believe me if I told them I saw one, would they?"

  "Nope, I don't reckon they would." Edmond finished his pipe. He breathed on it and steam rose. "You’re a smart girl. Maybe someday an old dragon might give you a ride." Edmond stuffed some dragon weed into his pipe and the fragrant smoke puffed out in amused rings. "But first I need to go visit my father."

  Dark Woods, Dark Hearts

  The sun dived into the Pacific Ocean, creating ripples of red and gold in the sky. A cool breeze prowled over the ocean and through the town of Newport, Oregon then ten miles up the hills, slinking through the pine trees. The evening light faded, lengthening shadows and allowing them to crawl up the trees. Brush and ferns covered themselves with a dark shroud, hiding from the gasping, running girl. Katie, looking over her shoulder, stumbled through the tangle of fern and salal bushes. Sharp pine needles slapped her, stinging her face, leaving a fragrant scent behind. As she ran down the hill, fern leaves grabbed at her ankles and dead tree limbs and pine cones hidden in the decaying undergrowth wrenched her already sore left ankle and knee. Tears formed a liquid lens to obscure the darkening woods. Mischievous breezes knocked pine cones and dead branches off the trees, sending them thumping and crashing to the ground.

  Thump, the pine cones hit the ground sounding like footfalls in the darkness. She looked over her shoulder, eyes wide, then tripped on a dead branch that tangled her feet. She hit the ground and cried out. She gasped for air, clutching at her bruised, aching knee, her twisted ankle throbbing.

  "Damn it! Damn him!" Katie slammed a fist into the duff, stabbing a dried, brown pine needle into her hand. "Damn all males."

  Katie gasped, looked back up the hill. She listened as she pulled the pine needle out of her hand. Her mind was in a turmoil. How had he done it, she wondered, how had Chuck turned Tony against her? A piece of wood snapped, echoing over the hill.

  "Be quiet you fat idiot." Tony's voice came from somewhere up hill.

  Katie jumped to her feet, wincing as she put weight on her left leg. Down hill, down hill and sooner or later she would reach Newport and safety. She limped on down the hill. It had been an enjoyable, sunny day on the beach. A lovely day she had spent chatting with her first and best friend, Penny, as they walked on the beach with Katie talking about her upcoming date with Tony. A date that had turned into a run for her life. Katie slowed down, trying to bypass a tangle of vegetation.

  She found a clear trail through the vegetation and moved a little quicker. She had to figure out how to get out of this. Chuck, how had he done it? How had he turned Tony into a monster. She could see Chuck's fat face with its perpetual sneer. She heard his squeaky voice as he threatened and whined. How could a scaredy-cat bully like him make a tough guy like Tony do anything? Hell, she had beaten Chuck lots of times, like that first day in pre-school. She walked out on the playground and had seen him pushing Penny then tripping her into the dirt. Katie had soon put Chuck into the dirt and made friends with Penny. From then on it had been a game where Chuck occasionally won a few points but Katie scored more often, even after Chuck had teamed up with mousey Eddie. This time, a winning move by Chuck.

  A branch snagged the sleeve of her dress, tearing it and making her twist to free herself. She whimpered as pain shot up her leg and made her muscles spasm. God, she thought, her nice green silk dress had to be in rags now. And her hair. She reached up and pulled loose a twig. She continued to move along as quickly as possible, looking back every few feet. Were they any closer?

  Chuck, Eddie and Tony. Chuck had to be the one responsible,
didn't he? Tony had been dating her for over a month. She noticed him looking at her on his first day at school in Newport and Katie thought he was handsome in a rough way. Long brown hair flopping over his brown eyes, wearing a black t-shirt and black Levi jeans. Even the tattoo on his shoulder, a warrior with a bloody sword in one hand and a medusa head in the other seemed kind of cool. Katie had been attracted by the heavy metal look she knew her father would not approve of. She had smiled at Tony and he had given her a sneering smile in return.

  Katie hadn't let the sneering smile deter her. She knew he wanted her with her long auburn hair, blue-green eyes, slender figure, nice clothes and the fact that her father owned one of the biggest hotels in town. She was popular at school, top cheerleader and smart enough to pass her classes without much effort. All the guys wanted to date her. So why pick Tony? She had liked the touch of danger with him and now she was running away from him.

  She stumbled through another tangle of brush and came out on a small, dirt road. Thick brush grew on both sides of the road, but very little grew in the middle. She knew following the road would be easier and quicker than stumbling through the forest, but the road ran perpendicular to the way she had been going. Roads usually meant people and people meant help. She looked to the right then the left, confused. Which way? She fought the fog in her mind. Struggling to remember which way Tony had turned when he left Highway 20. Right or left? He drove fast and she had been busy flirting with him and the road was so winding. No use, she was so tired and confused. How could she decide?

  "Where the hell is she?" Chuck's squeaky voice pierced the dark shadows of the forest behind her.

  Katie's breath caught. She looked to the left, but it seemed like Chuck's voice had come from that way. She looked to the right. That way. She turned and stumbled on down the road.

  The road proved easier but Katie still had to watch for ruts and washes. She hobbled on looking and listening for signs of Highway 20, spurred by the snap of branches behind her. She heard the chirp of a cricket, the whistle of the wind and Chuck's high pitched voice. She couldn't make out the words. That was good wasn't it? That meant she had move farther ahead, right?

  A splash of orange color painted the tops of the trees, a splash of color set against the dark blue-black of the sky. Below, the shadows clawed their way upward to cover the glow of light in darkness. Katie came out into a shadowy clearing. A large black shape stood silently in the center of the open area, a silhouette of a two-story house. Her heart leaped. A house. People. She moved faster while listening over the chirp of the crickets and the rustle of the wind for sounds of her pursuers. Someone in the house would help her.

  Halfway to the house, she ran into a dark shape blocking her way. The moon peeked above the horizon, giving her some light to examine the plant. She ran her hand over the thin stalks leathery leaves and soft yellow petals. Scotch broom. She spotted some twisted wood, pointed slats that could have been a gate. She knelt down on her aching knees and groped here and there against the brush until she found a small opening through the shrubbery. She pushed her way into the opening, smelling the warm oily scent of the plant, hoping the swish of her passage through the hedge was not too loud.

  It took her a minute to get clear of the brush. She stood up in a small narrow path hemmed in by thick blackberry bushes. Katie stumbled down the path between the bushes. Her hope fading as she looked at the mounds of blackberry brambles. No one would let these plants go like this, she thought, but, please, don't let the house be empty. Someone has to help.

  She looked up as she neared the house. Oh, God, no. She saw the house covered with blackberry bushes halfway up the sides, obscuring the first floor windows. Moonlight reflected off the jagged glass teeth of the broken upper windows, hungry mouths smiling at their prey. Katie stopped at the steps, looking at the screen door swinging crookedly on a single hinge and wondering if it was worth going on. The creaking of the door reminded her of an old cartoon crone's laughter. She grabbed the crooked handrail and moved up the three steps to the porch, then to the door.

  Under the light of the rising moon, the house had a pale, gray color, like that of a dead tree stripped of its bark. She glanced over her shoulder. Was that a shadow moving, a tree in the wind or something worse? She turned back and tapped lightly, flinching at the echoes. The echoes died and only the wind coursing through the treetops answered her. Crickets chirped in reply to the slow rasping questioning of the screen door.

  She reached for the door knob, hesitated then wiped her hands on her dress and took hold of the door knob. She turned the knob and pushed on the door. The rusty screech of the hinges ripped along her frayed nerves as the door swung inward. She held her breath, listening. Faintly, in the distance came a sound that could have been voices. She ducked into the house and inched the door shut.

  Darkness. Katie closed her eyes and leaned on the door, shifting her weight to her right leg. A weak sob escaped her as she took a deep breath. She leaned over and rubbed her leg as tears began to trickle down her cheeks and fear crept up her back. How much longer could she go on? It would be hard enough getting back to Newport, if she was in good shape, but with a injured leg it was so much harder. Could she do it? Katie feared she couldn't.

  "So what are you going to do, girl?" she whispered, "Give up?"

  She shook her head and opened her eyes. She blinked and gasped. A faint green aura seeped out of the walls, floors, and furniture of the room.

  Katie shook her head. She had never seen a shade of green like this. She wrinkled her nose, sniffing, expecting to smell something putrid. All she smelled was musty air with a trace of decayed plants. Everywhere a green glow, a phosphorescent yellowish green that made her nauseated, but it did give her light to see by.

  She looked around the room. A kitchen. She must have come in the back door. A small, wooden table with a dusty, checked tablecloth stood by the window just to the left of the door. To her right was a sink with a hand pump. She could see a door straight across the room from her and a large cabinet-like object with three doors. Squinting, she could just make out the letters on a lower door. They spelled "Frigidaire Icebox." To her left a box of wood sat beside an old wood stove with an overhead oven. Against the far wall stood a small cabinet, an old pantry with one door open. She could see shelves with Mason jars and cans of fruit and condensed milk. It all looked like a typical, small, turn-of-the-century farmhouse kitchen, even down to the dish-towels hanging by the sink, the checked curtains and the ceramic pig salt-and-pepper shakers. All familiar stuff, except for the vile green glow.

  Katie shivered as she looked at the glowing cans of food. It's got to be some kind of mold, she thought, it's a good thing I'm not hungry. She looked back at the door. No locks. She turned back to the room and limped to the door across the room, hoping it would lead to a hiding place in case Chuck, Eddie and Tony managed to follow her. She grimaced at the bitter thought of Chuck and Eddie working on Tony, convincing him to turn on her. A sour taste came to her mouth as she thought about what they, even Tony, had planned for her. And she felt the dull pain in her stomach as she thought about Tony's betrayal.

  She opened the door and stepped into a narrow hallway. A steep set of stairs on her right rose up to the second floor. She noticed on her left, halfway down the hallway, a doorway opened up into another room. At the very end of the hallway stood another door with an old coat rack glowing like a twisted flagpole. Carefully closing the door behind her, she hobbled down the hallway.

  Five feet down the hallway, Katie paused for a moment, her eyes drawn to a picture hanging on the left wall. The picture might have been a nude lady sitting by a pond or lake, staring off into the distance, but with the green aura coming from the picture it looked more like a woman trapped in Hell by a green lake of fire. Katie shivered and moved on.

  She stopped at the first doorway and looked into the room. Across the living room stood a large picture window, broken in several places with dark, grasping leaves of b
lackberries probing their way into the house. Near the door stood a mouldy looking couch. The right wall had a small bookcase with books that seemed to contain something so awful it oozed out of the spines and pages of the books. Along the left wall two chairs sat, turned slightly inward on either side of a small table. A vase rose from the back of the table with something that could have been a flower, but now was a sickly, glowing twig. She sniffed and quickly covered her mouth as her stomach lurched. Sweet and rancid, the smell made her stomach churn. She looked around the room again. A large dog bed sat in the far right-hand corner. She could see a very dog-like shape curled up in the bed. It wasn't moving, not even breathing. She backed out of the room and staggered for the front door.

  Her head whirled as she moved down the hallway. This is horrid. What kind of freak show, Twilight Zone episode, had she stumbled into? No people except her, trapped in a crazy place. She had to get out. She had to try the front door, maybe coming out on the opposite side of the house, she could lose Chuck and the others. She most definitely could not stay here with a dead dog. Why hadn't they buried it? As old as this place seemed, why did it still smell? She needed air.

  Katie opened the door and groaned. The door opened to a small porch, but the porch had been overtaken with blackberries. Thick clumps of thorny brambles grew up the sides of the porch. Growing and weaving, the two sides converged to form a thick, impassable wall in front of the door. She knew that the thorns would tear her and what was left of her dress to shreds. She leaned against the door sill, hugging herself and wondering what to do.

  Katie, closing the door and turning back down the hallway, decided to try going out the way she had come in. Maybe the boys had gone the other way on the path. Yeah. Maybe she would win the lottery without buying a ticket. Katie moved carefully to the other door and opened it. She started through the door, then froze in place as she saw a flicker of white light through the leaves covering the window.